meager contributions

It seems like I should contribute something
I was thinking as I watched the sunrise over the highway
I was torn about sacrifices, I was questioning why I question
All I could think was I’ll soon be between my sheets
And I won’t have to stay awake writing, because it questions me
It asks me to embrace discipline and produce what I was born to
And I am entirely afraid of what I was made for, I’m afraid to admit
Its not that I don’t know… But every half I step towards it
Excludes me more from the normalcies I would settle for
This should scare me, is this where I say, “but that’s where faith comes in”?
No, It’s where I cower, because knowing faith alienates me
Asking you to believe that God compensates for the unknown, embracing who I am, leaves me abandoned
I’m not sure I should express without resolve…. Forgive my process, my living out my contribution
I’ll rework the happy ending, but that not always being in sight won’t always stop me

Ahh, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for? (Lewis)

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