Found this worth reading this morning, and felt the need to share.
In a dependent relationship, one or both people are looking to a person to meet their basic needs for love and security rather than to Christ. Unless underlying spiritual and emotional problems are resolved, this pattern will continue unbroken.
For instance, there may be an element of covetousness in our lives which causes us to desire to possess someone whom God has not given us. Another factor is the idolatry which takes place when something or someone, other than God, is at the center of our lives. We may also be in a state of rebellion, refusing to surrender areas of our lives to God. And we may lack trust in God and fail to believe that He will meet our needs if we do things His way.
Hurts from our past leave us with low self esteem, feelings of rejection, and a deep unmet need for love. By harboring bitterness or resentment toward those who have hurt us, we leave ourselves vulnerable to wrong relationships. This pain and inner turmoil needs to be expressed to God. Through confession and prayer, both in our personal times with the Lord and with other members of the body of Christ, healing can take place.
From Thoughts On Singleness and Marriage :: By Tessa Allen