I would like to clear up some common misconceptions about my condition and also translate my newly adopted collarbone-isms. I know, I just broke the clavical, it could be a lot worse I just can’t use my right arm for a little while… But that’s more complicated then you think.
For starters, in conversation when talking about the fall that broke my collarbone I refer to it as The Accident . it sounds as serious as it is . but I think people could assume there was a motor vehicle involved… Possibly a motorcycle . I can’t count how many stories I’ve heard since The Accident of those who broke their collarbone flying off of a motorcycle or some such. Whatever, it was an accident I never would’ve expected it , if people misunderstand oh well, the point is, something happened.
In context , the conversation is something like this,
“Yeah, I thought I was gonna have a lot of recording done by now but that was before….The Accident“.
No I’m not trying out a new style. I can’t even put my hair in a ponytail , I’m at the mercy of my sisters…who depending on the day may or may not choose to make me look presentable. I can’t do a thing about it. This is hard to deal with on a good day, don’t look at me funny on a bad day.
When I say Jess I usually mean please anyone help me.
I don’t need Jess, though I admit I prefer my sister and best friend to help me . But I cant dominate her time , so screaming Jess really means Help!
When I say I think I can do this myself, I usually can’t.
Can you just help me with this thingy?
What I mean is put on my brace
Open the water bottle
Cut my food
Put on my shirt
Fasten my sling
Open the door
Turn off the light
Help me with this button
I can’t roll on my right side to reach that
Please open the medicine
Turns out Theres a lot of things I cant do without my right hand, or just one handed for that matter. It’s not a joke, its a lot of very serious thingy’s.
I had an attack
I think in some way I like to refer to the pain I get in the clavicle area as an attack
I don’t know… like an anxiety attack, a heart attack, a panic attack, a clavicle attack .
In context its something like this
Jess asks, “Sis, what happened to you? I answer , I don’t know I just had an attack and my shoulder got bad .”
I didn’t plan this wonderfully accurate description , it just came to me.
I also , could be misunderstood when I say, I got hit.
I think there’s many obvious misconceptions.
In context the conversation is something like this, “I haven’t been able to wear that shirt since I got hit.”
Neither Jess nor I have yet solved the mystery of why I think somewhere in my subconscious that I was hit . We don’t know if I thought a tree hit me, or a vehicle, or a snow plow or just the ground. But somewhere along the line it came out that way. It’s kind of stuck, since I got hit.
And last but not least , this isn’t something shocking in my injured state, but rumor has it I’m on Meds. we all know how dangerous these rumors can be. Contrary to popular belief I haven’t seen a doctor to stock me up on high doses of codeine loritab or whatever that one that starts with a P is… And even though I could, I’ve tried not to take advantage of the situation. After the first week there’s been nothing special .
I’m scraping by on good old Ibuprofen, I know how damaging it can be to my liver or kidneys or both or something… But my Mom told me when you have a broken bone you don’t need to be so worried about being completely healthy. (Great , now she’s gonna make me stop working out , because my arm doesn’t work …) Anyway, the point is, apparently I could be floating around in my own happy world, blind, immune, to the pain of myself and others… and apparently it also helps you stop thinking about the fact that your bones are floating around loose, detached at the end, under your skin. That would actually help… But I’m not on that kind of vacation, one reason being, I don’t like feeling that way . I don’t really want to be out of touch with reality, and I also don’t wanna go through the withdrawal, mood swings and weird nervous system stuff that I went through after just being on a pretty mild prescription for a week. The point is, I’m not really heavily medicated. I’m actually just taking two Ibuprofen at a time and often forgetting to keep it in my system so I’m staying in some pain but its okay. I just want to say, it’s a little bit awkward when people over hear the kind lady (who keeps offering me Advil because she knows I’m barely taking anything) saying every time she sees me in a crowd, “how are your Meds“, “you keepin up with your Meds?”
Oh well, who cares about rumors.
Also, when I “get wild” I just escaped my sling and or brace and am usually laying perfectly still. But something about knowing I can “get wild” even when I can’t keep up with things the way I would like is comforting. Context, “If you don’t help me get dressed I’m gonna get wild again.”
In closing I want to say thanks for all the kind thoughts and words that have come my way, my friends & family make the world a better place on the good days, so much more on the bad ones.
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